Saturday, November 30, 2013

November recap

Thanksgiving - GREAT!
Three day weekend - GREAT!
Seeing my brothers company soaring - PROUD SISTER ALMOST CRIED GREAT!
Family - GREAT!


I will spare the details of the tantrum, because it was ugly, and I didn't handle it well, and I'm hoping that 1) my kid never ever throws another tantrum like that, and 2) she can't remember those 5 minutes in the next couple years.

Our Thanksgiving was wonderful.  The food was great, company even better.  I got a rare chance to spend the weekend with the family, with having a three day weekend.  It's really nice having a "normal" weekend, like everyone else.

November overall has been a good month...I think...and because I can't remember the bad, and the ugly, I'm going to deem it a successful month.

As everyone else this year, we're throwing ourselves into the Christmas spirit and getting our Christmas tree tomorrow.  We did the same thing last year, and it was very nice having the tree around for such a long time.  Also, when the holidays were over, we took everything down and put it away in one day...this is a family that doesn't do much in one day, we like to spread projects over days.  No bueno.

I am declaring December the month of warmth: sweaters, hats, hot chocolate, pie, self-love. I've been feeling cold on the inside, and it's time to warm it up.

I'm planning on blogging all December, every single day, as a small challenge to myself, to get a groove going for this blog and myself.  I think it will be fun.

Friday, November 22, 2013


I've been visioning something fierce.
Words, and images, and feelings, jumping out at me everywhere.
There are some magazines I don't want to cut up, but the urge to glue an image is just too strong.

My vision for The Cottage is simple.  Lots of calm, neutral colors, lots of storage.  A place where creativity will be forefront.

I took a close up of the birdhouses.  I found them on the back cover of a magazine, and knew this was something I could not only make, but it would be a part of Cheryl, as this blue was her favorite color.

My visioning around ME is a bit loud, yet very specific.  As you can see, these two pages are not filled. I was deliberate in what went on these pages.  I know I'm a work in progress, we all are, so I am in no hurry to fill this vision board.

I will be trying something completely new and different in 2014, by offering an online course.  My BIG goal is to offer a retreat for women.  Yesterday I found an article which spoke to me, as some of the paragraphs have been my words exactly.  I'm glad I'm not the only one out there searching for my tribe.

Thursday, November 21, 2013


"Your crafting makes me mad," words said out of anger, and just to be said.
They didn't hurt, sting, make me cry.
The words rang true, because my crafting makes me mad too.
Short on space, time, organization, I find myself struggling. 
When an idea strikes me, I find myself getting it out in a rush, before it disappears.
I don't have enough quiet time to sit down, and create to get better at gathering inspiration.

Couple days ago I wrote that I am not a quitter, and that is true.
I'm not quitting crafts. 
I think I'm quitting the idea of being Martha Stewart, of being featured, of being recognized.
I'm quitting the idea of perfection.
I'm quitting struggling.  That's something I've been wanting to get rid of.

I'm starting planning.
I'm starting organizing.
I'm starting to set deadlines.
Structure works for me, I crave it these days.
I'm starting living in reality.
I'm becoming a sponge, soaking in all the knowledge I can.
I'm getting out of my bubble.  It's ready to be popped.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Not a quitter

I have always thought of myself as a quitter.
I have tried many things once: sports, crafts, writing, dancing, etc. and if I wasn't as good as the professionals, I'd quit.
I have always been impressed by people who devote their lives to THAT ONE THING, whether sports, religious leaders, regular women taking over the world.

The more time I spend discovering myself, the more I am realizing that I no longer quit.
I still consider my skills mediocre when it comes to crafts, blogging, writing, etc. 
Yet I've been plugging away.
I've been showing up every day, with just myself for the most part, and I've just been going. 

The last 48 hours, I have been just filled with ideas, and thoughts, and insights, and in the past I would just have let the fire burn out, but not these days.  I made a vision page of a program I'd like to launch in 2014. 

I have turned down a request for someone to rent The Cottage.  I am keeping it.

I am feeling this push.
I am feeling this "if you build it they will come" vibe.
I am feeling many things, and when I put them out there, and nothing happens, I try again.

I am no longer a quitter. 

Friday, November 15, 2013

A list of sorts

I'm feeling a little melancholy at the moment.
Maybe a list will help me break it down.

  • Our pictures arrived today, and I love them. There are so many good ones to pick from, and I look half-way decent. (I can't use them until I get the CD in my hand, which will hopefully be next week.)
  • Our pictures arrived today, and although I knew I'd look the way I did, on the day the pictures were taken, I thought I looked cuter.
  • Our pictures arrived today, and I am happiest with my kiddos.  The smile on my face, and sparkle in my eyes is so different when I am with them.  Not that I need proof that I love them, however seeing myself with them, helps me forgive myself for the times I'm a bit short with them.

  • I have to go back to work tomorrow.  Things might be different.  Calmer and more peaceful...or they might be the same.  I hope I can practice "speak no evil" tomorrow if the need comes.
  • I can't find my uniform at the house or in the car, so I hope I have something to wear when I get home tomorrow.

  • I get to have a girl's night out tomorrow.  I am excited, happy, nervous.  I know I'll be okay, I'll be with my girls.
  • I don't like that I get anxiety even before hanging out with my friends.

  • We've been spending some time at The Cottage, and my heart still aches at the fact that Cheryl is gone.
  • I want The Cottage to be my studio, a play area for the kids, and I want it to be a place we hang out, a place we actually use.

  • Here's a random one: I don't drink enough water.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Key and three candles

It's one of those days where being home is the only right thing to do.

Cheryl's daughter has finished cleaning out the cottage.
She turned in Cheryl's key.
The cottage is empty.
Although I want to turn it into my studio, I'm still having a hard time going there. 
My last trip was actually a couple days ago, and I could see my vision, which made me happy.
I miss Cheryl.

Today marks the third year anniversary of my grandpas death.
I have been lighting candles for him since the day he died.
It was a tragic death.
We're all still reeling from it.
I hope his soul is resting peacefully, wherever it is.
I miss him.

Sometimes I feel like reality sucks, but this is the life I'm living.
I know things will be okay.
In fact they're okay right now.
Just a little empty, yet that's what memories are for.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Where are you?

I promised myself this year that I would do only one holiday at a time.
I decorate for fall in September, for Halloween in October.
I wasn't going to do anything crazy for Thanksgiving as my in-laws are cooking, which brings me to now: I want to decorate for Christmas!
Yup, it's November 12th and I'm already living in the future!
I don't like it.
It makes me anxious and nervous, and out of control.
I want to enjoy each and every holiday, each and every get together, each and every day for what it brings.
I'm sure all the store decorations are not helping.
Starting a Christmas pin board probably wasn't a good idea either.
Signing up for yet another gift/letter/card exchange doesn't help either.
I'm holding back as much as I can...but boy oh boy, if anymore coupon or gift books arrive at my house, I might just cave in.

Where are you at?
Have you thrown caution to the wind and said I'M READY FOR DECEMBER!!!

Wherever you are, enjoy what you're doing.
I've been decorating the gift boxes I'll use to mail my goodies in.

The one on the left, I was going for an ombre look.
The one on the right, I was going for the dipped in paint look.
Neither box is finished yet. but it makes me happy to be working on something.


Monday, November 11, 2013

New design

Heather from is a genius. She designed the new look, installed it, helped with an Etsy shop design, and BAM...I feel like a Rock Star!!

Let me make a confession: I want to be a regular blogger, who has readers.
I get frustrated at times looking at other blogs and thinking "when will I get there?" By "there" I mean good posts, readers, comments, conference invites.
A couple of days ago I found a quote which read
Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.
This is so true and something I needed to read.
Working with Heather, I realized how little I knew about blog design, what certain things are called, etc. She'd ask me a design/preference question, and I'd stare at her e-mail for minutes, trying to figure out what the heck was going on.
It was a bit of a hey mo-mo...why don't you learn more before you dream of being a rock star!
Again, something I needed. 
A swift kick in the pants.
That's how I learn, that's how I roll, the hard way.
I am definitely motivated with my new design to rock this, and to share my thoughts, ideas, projects with the universe.  

Thank you Heather! 

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Nothing compares...

Two things I'm not giving up in this life:




Everything else can either go, or I'll adapt to the electronic version.

I'm excited for the next couple weeks, starting with today:

a girl's night of pampering and drinks :)

a girl's night out with my two BFF's, and I'm sure...drinks (I'm a little shocked I'm 1. using the term BFF's, and 2. that I get to use it)

a lunch out with a wonderful woman who has tried very hard to help me lose weight (I didn't help her succeed, but our friendship will be amazing, regardless of the number on the scale)

Remind me to write a post about friendship.
This is a topic so close to my heart, that I will most likely cry.


Sunday, November 3, 2013

Moments fill my life

Here is a moment:
I'm currently sitting in front of my computer, eating fruit and drinking water. 

Here is another moment:
I'm sitting on a couch at my friends beautiful couch, watching a beautiful movie.
We have dinner, we have coffee, and we talk for hours.
At the end of the night, I get to curl up in a comfortable bed, in a nook in a wall, covered in warm, red sheets, my favorite color.

Let me share one more:
I'm driving home from my friends house, and because we talked, I'm able to process some things better. 
I gain insight into myself.

I am a blog junkie.
I could read blogs for a living.
I am obsessed with Instagram.
This morning every image I saw on my feed took my breath away.
When I saw how some people are connected to others that I follow, most people I don't know in real life, it made my heart so happy, and it made me wish that my life was filled with more moments, with more beautiful things, and images.

No, I don't want more stuff.
Yes, I have a beautiful family I get to look at every day.
Yes, I have friends that cook me dinner, and let me spend the night.  All because I asked.

I want more of all of the above in my life.
I want to go to work and see beauty.
I want to go to work and create, take pictures, collaborate, etc.
THIS is my goal.
At this time my heart so desperately aches for it.

I have these moments, and I cherish them so much.
I will create more of them, more frequently, more passionately.

I want my world to open up in ways I don't even know about.

Create your moments.
Cherish your moments.
Build a life filled with beauty, love, friendship.

Happy Sunday.


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