Saturday, February 22, 2014

No more pretending

"A woman in harmony with her spirit is like a river flowing.

She goes where she will without pretense and arrives at her destination prepared to be herself,
and only herself."
Maya Angelou


I'm not there yet, but I'm no longer pretending.
I have a reputation for speaking my mind.
I have a reputation for being tough.
Those are all a part of me, however there is more.
That anchor on my neck is to ground me.
It's to help me keep my feet on the ground.
It stops me from pushing when that's the last thing I want/need.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Deal with the real problem

I'm becoming a firm believer that one should deal with what the actual problem is.
I have depression.
I'm dealing with my depression.
I'm not dealing with my body being overweight right now. That will come.
I'm not worrying about my house being clean right now.  That will come.
I'm not dealing with crafting, selling, keeping up.  That will come in some form or another later on in my life.
I am dealing with my depression and coping the best way I know how.
I have come such a long way, and I don't know how much I have to go.
If things remained the way they are right now, mood wise, I will be OK with that.
If maintaining my depression with medication is where I need to be at, I'm OK with that.
Avoiding my problem, filling it with something else, not staring truth in the face is not acknowledging the problem, or tending to it. 
(I don't think I like the word fix it when it comes to our bodies and minds)
By slowing down, and bearing my soul to myself just a couple days ago, I feel so much pressure has lifted, so much clarity has been shown to me, so much space for me to breath into my life.
 The book I'm currently reading by M.D. David D. Burns.  It's changing my mind for the better

My favorite reading nook.  My kitty decided to jump in as soon as she saw my phone on my hand.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Delete and off

I had to turn it OFF.
The notification e-mails were too much.
I thought I was following my gut when I signed up for the e-course, but I was not.  I am on a different path now.

I had to hit DELETE a couple times.
I believe in the world of blogs, the less the merrier.

I believe in listening to my gut and to my soul.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014


I am figuring out how to be authentic.
That really is all at the moment.
Have a good night everyone.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


Do you have a corner in your house/apartment that is just for you?
Do you have a space that just thinking about it makes you relax?

I have tried having such nooks and crannies, and corners, and spaces, but they always end up filled with toys, dirt, too much stuff, not enough attention from me.  I think that's why I like going to coffee shops.  Find a comfy chair, kick up my feet, and relax, knowing no one will come along to sit on my lap, or spill my coffee, or hit me in the face with a toy.

Have you seen Google's "question" today: if I could invent one thing to make the world a better place...

My first thought was AHA, those sneaky rich people want to steal our ideas. I'm not falling for that.

Then it got me thinking: what would I invent to make the world a better place? 
Hopefully I'll have an answer to that tomorrow, or some time soonish, because who knows, it might be a really BIG idea.

I have been looking for some clarity lately, and I got some while journaling.
I have been having trouble sleeping lately, staying up too late.
I have been impatient with the kids too much.
I have been taking myself too seriously.

It's time for me to breathe.

Monday, February 3, 2014

Random rules the way. Go Hawks

Dear computer and Google,
Please remember my password.
Also please remember to remind me to click that little box that remembers it for me.
Thank you.

My little man turned two yesterday.
All week long I've been posting on FB that I had him last year.
I'm pretty sure this mama wants to slow down the time.
He is my snuggle bug, my baby, my boy, my happiness.
I feel beyond blessed to be his mama.

(Now for real mama talk: about two weeks ago, the "terrible" of the two's started popping out.  A tantrum here, a tantrum there, sleepless nights.  I was pulling my hair out.  He has calmed down since...whew)

The Seattle Seahawks won the Super Bowl.
I woke up unable to talk this morning.
Our first Super Bowl win.
Our any sort of win in 30 years.
The players on the team seem to be "saints." 
They show up on the field, win a game, go visit a hospital. 
Good to be from Seattle these days.

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