Saturday, December 20, 2014

My goals

Can a single thought change my life?
A simple idea, which will require work, yet a simple idea.
I do not have the skills or knowledge...yet.
I do not have the "perfect" space...yet.
I don't have it "all" figured out...yet.
I don't have the money to finance what I want to do...yet.

I have an idea.
A literal vision.

I have the desire to do this.
I think I can do it (working on believing)

I have questions, doubts, worries, fears...
...but I also have support, knowledge, resources.

My word for 2015 is Action.

My goal for 2015 is to take photographs of women working in male dominated fields.
I want to show women in their multiple sides they have.
My goal is to write a book proposal and publish a coffee table book with my photography.

This is real and scary stuff. 


I think this might be my motto for 2015.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Early bed time

Last night I felt like I couldn't think any more.
I asked my husband to deal with the kiddos and I went to bed.

This morning I woke up at 7:30 a.m. with the rest of the clan, and as soon as my husband took my daughter to school, my little guy and I went to bed until almost 10:00 a.m.
I was tired.
I literally felt like my brain couldn't think anymore last night.
Between too many episodes of Game of Thrones, staying up too late, thinking about the holidays, next year, next week, I think I just exhausted myself. 

I stayed away from the internet today until just now.
I could not take another stimulation, another idea. 
As great as the internet is in connecting people and showing what can be done with this and that, I think I want to see what my brain can come up with all on it's own. 

I think for me comparison is the root of all evil, and copying another is just plain wrong. 
I think looking for inspiration is great, but I think taking the time to re-write or re-see it in our own mind is key to sanity.

Do you ever feel like you need a break from the masses of the internet?
Do you ever feel like you can't think of anything on your own because your brain is clouded with ideas from others?  Please share. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

In over my head

I am in over my head.
Goals, goals, goals.
Dreams, dreams, dreams.
Plans, plans, plans.

I am feeling a shift from dreaming to doing.
I am feeling a shift from I can't to I'll give it my best shot.

I was working on Unraveling The Year Ahead 2015 workbook (find it at and I came to realize that 2014 was a good year.
As much as I wanted to make it bad and miserable (I don't know why, I think the last couple weeks have been rough) 2014 has been good.

One of the prompts is what stands out the most from 2014?
Here is what I wrote:

No one moment stands out the most, what stands out is that this has been a good year, despite of what I'd like to think and say.  It has been a good year because I think it has shown me where it is I want to go, and as much as I think how easy something can be, I need to do the work within, I need to get myself to where I want to go emotionally.  Being raw, and crazy, and crying all the time is not easy, but it feels cleansing and opening.  2014 has been a good year."

I think I can even say it's been a GREAT year. 
My word for 2014 was SOLID and I hate that word right now, however, my family has been SOLID in helping me, and sticking by me.  My friends have been SOLID in embracing my ideas, and holding me while I fall apart.  My brother has been SOLID in lifting me up when I opened up to him.  Maybe SOLID wasn't about me, it was about all the folks around me.

As I feel the blessings around me, and as I fight tears almost every day because something or someone touches me (worse than when I was pregnant) I am learning, and feeling love.  I am allowing.  I am accepting. 

Where are you in your heart/mind/sprit as 2014 draws to a close?  Do you feel you get a clean slate with the New Year, or will you gently continue into it?  Please share, I am curious. 
01 09 10 11 12
Blogging tips