It's interesting to me my desire to affect change.
My play of wanting to be seen and heard, and yet hiding at the slightest sign of approval.
I can only imagine that this is something I will need to work on, and I'm not quite sure where to start.
There are so many videos out there and blog posts, and websites, and Instagram accounts, that are so inspiring, and motivating, yet for the most part I feel like I am just wasting my time, and I am just making excuses for not having time, because I am too busy watching someone else work.
I find myself at the crossroads of taking it easy, and listening to my body, and letting art and creativity just come to me, and working my ass off, and putting in the work, the hustle, the sweat. It dawned on me the other day, that there are two types of people: people who get she*t done, and people who don't. I am in the latter category. Not something to be proud of, but definitely a starting point, a discovery of sorts, a way of knowing where I am starting, and where I need to start.
My biggest challenge lately has been learning about my Mac computer, and synching everything together. I rarely have a quiet moment, and I get frustrated easily. I feel less than smart when I can't figure something out, because mine is the generation who "should" know computers.
I am learning, and I am learning a lot. I am learning that it will take a lot of work to get where I want to get, I am learning that currently I don't have what it takes to get there, but I am learning that people don't become successful without putting in the work, and starting somewhere. Even my rambling here, it feels like a small success, because I took the time to write, I took the time to admit some things, I took the time to learn something.
Here's hoping I see more progress for myself, as well as figure out my computer before my frustration tells me to quit.